Pool's Closed
by mikun-chan
Summary: Two Mary Sues go to the pool only to find it closed and themselves at risk of being taken to jail. AU, OOC, Rated M for giant woman things and descriptions accompanying them. OneShot.


**A/N: A uber boredom-induced story written by a twelve year old girl about the simple meme 'Pool's closed due to AIDS'.**

**Rating: M; for the disgusting detail of someone's giant boobs.**

**Warning: Sorta crackish, Mary-Sues, possible OOC**

* * *

"Oh my gosh!" the girl with fiery red hair giggled. "Let's totally go to the pool, Jennifer!"

The said Jennifer girl squealed with delight and nodded in agreement as she and her friend skipped off to the pool area a la Habbo Hotel.

"So, like, you think we'll meet some hot boys, Shannon?" Jennifer giggled.

"Totally!" Shannon laughed.

The two girls stripped their oh-so skin tight clothes off their bootylicious bodies and were left in their sexy-fly bikinis that showed off their curvaceous bodies and humongous, large, capacious, enormous, gigantic, I'm-reading-out-of-a-thesaurus, massive boobs. The skipped towards the pool gate while their boobs jiggled around in a slutty—I mean, sexy way. They were almost at the gate when two males ran in front of it, keeping them from entering.

The two males had black tweed jackets over white dress shirts, complete with black dress pants, a black tie, and dark sunglasses. One had dishwater blonde hair, the other had light brown hair, but both had their hair cut at their shoulders quite untidily.

"Like, _excu-u-u-u-u-use_ us!" Shannon scoffed. "We want to go to the pool."

"Can you, like, move?" Jennifer asked.

"No," the one with light brown hair replied.

"Why not?" Shannon asked.

"Pool's closed," the older, blonde-haired one added.

"What?" Jennifer asked.

"I said, 'Pool's closed'," he repeated.

"…Due to AIDS," the younger one added.

Shannon scoffed. "Just let us through!" She grabbed the younger one and threw him as the older one took out a walkie-talkie.

"This Edward Elric with the pool security guards. We got a 417; violation of Section 36.14, Article Taiyaki. A girl just threw my brother into a shrub," he said into it.

The walkie-talkie beeped and someone replied, "We'll send reinforcements."

An air siren went off as eleventy-billion men in the same attire as the two boys jumped out of random places. Fifty-five billion of the men grabbed Jennifer and the other fifty-five billion restrained Shannon.

"You girls are under arrest for a 417; violation of Section 36.14, Article Taiyaki. The article explains violence towards a law enforcement officer i.e.; my brother Alphonse," Ed said. "Come to think of it, you're also arrest for a 233; violation of Section 47.5-repeating, Article Cannoli: flaunting your gigantic knockers around in public." Ed breathed in deeply. "That's what strip clubs are for."

Al looked up from where he had landed and looked around as Ed ran towards him.

"Alphonse, you okay? You want me to kick 'em in the junk?" Ed asked.

"I'm fine—Wait, what?" Al asked, staring at him.

"You can't do this to us! We're, like, kids!" Shannon protested.

Ed adjusted his glasses. "We can do what we want. We're the law. Juvenile delinquents like you two get sent to Juvenile Hall, where you'll suffer for all eternity while rotting away in a cold cell. Better yet, you'll go to an insane asylum for child abuse."

Jennifer and Shannon continued to protest before they were involuntarily put in the back of a registered insane asylum boxy truck thingy...

Al watched as the truck drove away with the reinforcement officers piled on top of it and the air siren faded. "That was fun. We should do it again sometime."

"Seeing as how that pool is still infected with 'AIDS', it'll happen soon…" He turned towards the pool area and stared. "…Very soon."

A man was whistling happily as he walked to the gate. Ed and Al ran back to their post and stood there with their arms crossed.

The man smiled giddily at them. "Somethin' wrong?"

"Pool's closed," Ed said.

"…Due to AIDS," Al added.

"No, it isn't," the man laughed.

"Sir, are you aware that this is a 654; violation of Section 8675.309, Article Wonton?" Ed asked.

"Nope," the man laughed. "Can I go in the pool?"

"Alphonse, we got a resister. Taze him," Ed demanded.

Al pulled out a small contraption and pressed a button. The man soon began shaking and crumpled to the ground. "The resister has been tazed."

Ed laughed. "Now kick him."

"I can't. That's an 896745231; violation of Section 66.8, Article Hamburger," Al replied. "Violation of Law Enforcing Power."

Ed frowned. "Damn! Ah, well. Let's leave."

Al stared at the crumpled up body. "What about this guy?"

"He's either going to get up in a while or he's dead," Ed laughed. "Now let's go corrode his body in acid."

End.


End file.
